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Health & Fitness

The Two Most Important Marriage Commandments

Here are some tips for all you newlyweds!

For all You Newlyweds……..

Marriage Commandment #1:

Thou Shalt Not Forget Garbage Night

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Marriage Commandment #2:

Thou Shalt Not Forget Thy Spouse’s Birth date

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After talking with a coworker today, I realized that she and I had an awful lot in common. We both had husbands that were completely devoted to their sports teams. As a New York Giant season ticket holder (for better or for worse), my husband is a devoted G Man fan. He could be on his way to claim a million dollar lottery ticket and be sidetracked by an interesting article on Eli Manning in the New York Post.

My coworker shared that her husband was just as devoted to the Red Sox. He knew every statistic on every player but yet….but yet… he forgot her birthday! Ouch.

Never ever EVER forget your wife’s birthday. In  the long run it will be the most expensive mistake you could make. If you are lucky you will get away with 3 or 4 weeks of flowers. If you’re not, that new Sapphire she has been admiring would look pretty nice on her finger.

My girlfriend handled it a bit differently with a direct approach.

“Honey,” she said to her husband.

“Look me straight in the eye. Now tell me, what day is today?”

He just looked and looked and…and…then very slowly turned his head and, biting his bottom lip, said incredulously, “It’s your birthday.”

Now, she could have handled this in any number of ways. For example, she could have given him

THE FREEZE- when one spouse declines to answer any questions that are directed their way with a simple nod of the head or a “Yep” or “Nope.”

THE LOOK-  where you simply stare through their head with one eye squinted more than the other.

THE GUILT-  make him feel SO badly about forgetting it that you immediately start to cry.

THE WITHDRAWL-  withholding certain “privileges” until he made up for it.

Here is another approach which is dignified and, yet, satisfying and effective.

Start sending  him a series of birthday reminders from different retail outlets, such as Tiffany, Cartier, Mercedes, etc.  Pick items that are outrageously priced, leaving him to wonder if you are really expecting the item or just kidding. That way you are sure he won’t forget, and anything you end up with will be an upgrade or downgrade considering what way you look at it. If that doesn’t work take out an ad in the sports section right after the results of last night’s game.

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