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Health & Fitness

Finally: The Most Romantic Night Ever — and the "F-word"

A divorced woman looking for love finds out that friends are everywhere, but true love is hard to find.

Mr. Wonderful and I had our ups and downs, we were buddies, we hung out at church and knew each other for 10 years. I was divorced and had a secret crush on him for much of that time.

We were fine until he asked me out, and he showed me his true colors. He held doors for me and called all the time, but when we were within 20 feet of another famale, he became a hunter on the prowl. He seemed to forget who he was out with and paid all of his attention to someone else, be she a stranger or a blonde in a tight dress and Victorias Secret push up.

My friends (many of whom also were his friends) warned me to get out now before he totally destroys me. My self esteem was pretty low to begin with after years of my ex-husband telling me I was useless. I saw my guy as my happy-go-lucky knight in shining armor. He was funny and made me happy.

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I always told him of my love for Cape Cod and asked him to join me for sunsets on the Branford shore from time to time, but I always ended up going alone.

Then, one night the unexpected happened.

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He called me when he got out of work and said, "Hi cutie, it's a beautiful day, I thought we could catch the sunset together."

My mind was reeling. This was perfect! He was calling me and inviting me, out of the blue to do my favorite thing with him. My imagination went wild. I pictured him holding my hand as we walked along the beach and putting his arm around me while we sat on the rocks watching the colors paint the sky. When would he kiss me?

I made sure I looked extra cute, called my kids' favorite babysitter and could hardly contain myself as my daughter helped me find the best outfit for my special date.

She was giddy, she'd always liked him too, having known him from church outings since she was about two — he was the fun camp counselor, the one who played games and was goofy, she couldn't wait for mommy to have him over for dinner all the time.

He picked me up in his convertible and whisked me away to the beach, I brought a blanket, even though I never used one at the beach before, it seemed appropriate.

We snapped a few pictures of the purple and yellow sunset and talked about how beautiful it was, but still no hand holding, no hug, no contact.

We joked and talked and I waited for the big moment until finally he spoke: "You know what Missy, this is what friends are for."

My heart sunk, What? Did he really just drop the "F" bomb? Friends? He asked me out on the most romantic date ever to one of my favorite places for this?

Then he did it again, and again, and again.

There it was, in the nicest way possible, he just let me know that I am not the one for him. I almost would have preferred it if he had said. "I like you, but ..." Instead he kept using the F word. "You're a great Friend." etc.

We walked back to the car and he opened the door for me and I thought, "Oh well this is the last time I'll be riding in this car."

Then he surprised me. Two days later we were supposed to go to a mutual friend's birthday party. He asked me what time it started, indicating that we were still going together.

We made plans to meet at our friend's house on Saturday night and our "Most Romantic Date Ever" was over.

I was crushed. In one evening he had ruined the word "friend" for me, and at the same time sent me a mixed message that I was special enough to go to our friend's party with him.

I spoke to his younger sister on the phone that night. She was anxious to hear what happened.

When I was done expressing my pain, she told me, "He likes you, he really likes you, please don't give up on him yet, he's really worth the wait. Once he realizes how great you are and how great you are together he'll come around."

She encouraged me to wear the sexy blue dress I'd bought for the party and told me that it would absolutely catch his eye.

On Friday he called me just to talk, asked me about my day as if nothing ever happened the night before. Did he honestly not realize that he had crushed my heart?

Next Up: The Party.

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